stolen from anonymous internet joke and wrinkled
guy moves into
apartment complex.
he's putting his name
on mailbox when
he hears a door open
down the hall.
glances there,
sees a gorgeous woman
dressed only in bathrobe,
elbows momentarily akimbo.
he tries not to look too long
at her as she opens her box.
her cue to engage him
in conversation.
they talk and she turns
to look down the hall as
her robe opens slightly. he notices
she's wearing only that.
they talk a bit more
and she says,
"shhh, I think I hear
somebody coming.
could we continue this
conversation
in my apartment?"
he agrees to this.
they make small talk
in her lair.
she moves and her robe falls
to the floor. a good eyeful.
she purrs, "now that
you've had a good look,
what do you think is
the best part of my body?"
he says, "definitely your ears."
she returns, "my ears?"
"look at these breasts,
this butt."
"how can you say
my ears!?"
he plies, "remember in the hall when
you said you heard somebody coming?
that was me."
larry and the mystery dope
(inspired by glotheri's style)
years ago, there was Larry
sitting and chatting
with a couple of friends.
somewhere on the west edge
deep in thick smoke of hemp
passing the glass bong,
he was telling great stories,
showing bud after bud
of this from there,
that from here,
and a little of something else
from somewhere far, far away.
the bong was jumpin
in the little circle,
and you'd hear woof, woof
and bubble, bubble,
and wow this
and whoops that
and all that jive.
Hector was watching
something on the wall
after a quick put down
that Larry threw his way
with the usual disdain.
Hector got up
and stood holding the wall
shaking his head
and smiling that Hector smile
that always, always
leads up to something that is memorable and
magnificent in some strange way.
the bong went around
and much later Larry
was the only one smoking
as he always did.
around the clock.
on and on after
everyone else had
finished.
Hector was patient,
humbly filling the bong
for him until suddenly
with glazed look and belch of smoke
before gagg and cough - Larry just
sat and stared.
Larry's pupils dilated more than usual.
his face turned red,
then white,
then green. finally
a half hour later after
stuttering and drooling
he uttered the question,
"HECTOR, WHAT THE FREAK WAS THAT?"
hector said quietly,
"it was that big black spider
with the little red dot underneath
that was in the corner up there,
awhile ago."
plastic wrap nap
urban myths
chickens
without wings
or legs
or beaks
or life
sit in their own waste
wiggle around
live in the dark
until those visits
and the bright brights and
out with their lights
off with the feathers
all into pieces
not unlike a visit with OJ
before short plastic wrap nap
